Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Living in the future

From the moment that the day begins
I look forward to its end
For the time to collapse right in my bed
To elope with my dreams and pretend
That I am someone else with more purpose
With a cause, a challenge, a mission to contend

And before I come to that time
When things shall finally happen in reality
I shall keep continuing to make my escape
From this world into the alternate eternity
Denying myself the livingness of the present moment
Choosing to die here for tomorrow’s mortality

I feel guilty about killing my present
For the future that I haven’t seen
As I snuff the life out of my spirit everyday
Walking about like a zombie, unthinking and mean
I wonder who I am being unjust to
Just me, or the folks around, or to sensibilities demeaned

Why can’t I live with what I have?
Be content with the things that make my life
Why do I have the urge to destroy, to annihilate?
The glorious today, complete with its boredom and strife
Why live like this, hoping for a better future
When everything that matters is in the present, complete and ripe.

It must be my own conscience, my own soul
Heaping these punishments on me
To exist in the present and live in the future
As a reprimand for my choices beyond the conventional key
To unlock what happens to me next, feeling like I defy my destiny
For just one chance at the person that I want to be.

Disclaimer: This is a poem echoing my plight in the past when I was stuck up in the wrong place. Currently the situation is much better. For more information on this, kindly refer to my previous posts.

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