Friday, January 05, 2007

Lost in transition….

After a grand farewell from my team mates (which included a dinner party at one of the upscale clubs, a gorgeous show piece and a beautiful Titan Raga watch), I have moved to Mumbai for a while before beginning my stint as a student of cinematography in Mindscreen Film Institute, Chennai. Quite frankly, I feel weird right now…it is the sort of transition that I was hoping to make for a long time and finally when it is happening, I am desperately looking for a sign that tells me that is going to be all ok.

My parents, sisters and friends are all so supportive of this decision that I feel like the most blessed person in this world but still when I am alone (this is my status most of the times these days since I am on a break in an off season time when everyone is at work) I ask myself “Where are you going Arch? Where are you going?”

I know I am not scared nor am I am regretful about having given up a lucrative IT job but yes the thoughts that go through me these days are a little unusual. For e.g. the following five things are few of the many that creep into my mind (something that I haven’t thought about for the last 24 years or rather 15 years because I don’t really remember what I thought about before that):

What kind of job will I be doing after this?
What sort of people will I be meeting?
2.1 Will they be nice to me?
2.2 Will I want to be with them?
Is this the dream that I have been waiting to realize or did I take a wrong turn somewhere?
What if it all goes bad someday and I crash down face first?
Was giving up something that worked perfectly well to chase something that has negative chances of working out well such a great idea after all?

I guess the idle mind is the devil’s workshop so I shouldn’t be really concerned about these random musings. What I should be concentrating on, are the things that are going to happen next and the way I am going to deal with them….that seems more like the attitude I should have. And that is the right thing to do.

So to hell with all the worries….we will cross the bridges when we come to them….right now I need to strategize, to figure out what needs to be done. Even if everything goes wrong, well atleast I will know what it means to put your life and career on the line and also what ‘clichĂ©d catch lines’ like chase your dreams and follow your heart are really all about….

2 comments:

Ali said...

Mam,

Your transition from IT to Cinematography is analogous to the conversion of a dream into reality. You have taken the most difficult step and what's gonna follow will be much easier to fight, thats because, it will be a fight that you will enjoy the most. So here is all the best from me ... may all that spells 'SUCCESS' be yours ... ameen.

Ur fan-cum-friend,
Ali.

Kanchan said...

Well, it sure will seem difficult. But i love the fact that you had the guts to make this change. Wish you all the best, Archana.